the grid

the grid

Sunday 26 March 2017

Week 12: reflecting on past glories

“It is said that the darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn.” - Thomas Fuller

There comes a point in every semester, or every process of finite length and variable enjoyment,  when it looks like the end will simply never arrive, that we'll be stuck in this moment, and that we'll never accomplish our goals. I find that it's often in the weeks between the half-way point and the end being so near you can almost reach out and grab it. The hour before the dawn.  Around these parts, I think it was last week. I could almost feel the tiredness in emails from colleagues, and it was more obvious in emails from students. I suspect everyone has their own version of this as schedules dictate.

I find it helps to remember that we get there in the end. Somehow projects move forward, papers get written, the seemingly unsurmountable pile of grading turns into submitted grade, and houses are reclaimed as homes once more. I also find it helps to remember that we do have successes. So, inspired by a comment in week 10, I invite you this week to share your successes that were, in part, due to this group. And was there something specific that you did to push the project through the final barriers to completion?

Contingent Cassandra (from week 11)0. Rest and renewal; sleep.
1. movement: try to work some in, despite weather
2. cooking (clean out/reorganize fridge; make/freeze some oatmeal, soups, etc.)
3. work on finances (esp. taxes)
4. list prep/grading to-dos through end of semester
5. do conference proposal and plan other grant-project work (which probably needs a new name, because it's not at all clear there will be any more money involved -- pedagogy project? curriculum project?)
6. figure out what to do about pedagogy/curriculum project-related class

Daisy1: Work on ONE paper each day, at least three for the week.2: Runs3: Contract report4: One figure for each paper

Dame Eleanor Hull1. House: gather tax documents and sort/file/toss/shred/pack (as appropriate) papers in the guest room.2. Research: 4 x 2 hours on the MMP R&R.3. Teaching: stay caught up.4. Health: continue regular gym workouts 3x/week, stretch every day, eat safely, go to bed early,5. Fun/social: active restoration daily. 

Earnest EnglishHopefully still hanging in there ;)

Elizabeth Anne MitchellDeal with electrician.Meeting with boss--survival is key.PT and home exercises.Continue to preserve time for transcription and scholarly thought.Incorporate research notes from last year’s trip.Plan next steps for top three to four projects to determine viability.Spend one hour per day unfruitful time clearing email or filing paper files.

Good Enough Woman1) exercise 3x2) do taxes3) get x-ray4) spend 2-3 hours editing article on Friday5) read two things (one for research, one for new course development*)6) stay on top of grading so that it doesn't become TRQ7) take daughter and her friend on their much anticipated outing

Heu mihi1. Integrate affect stuff into intro2. Read Berks abstract and make a to-do list/bibliography/outline?3. Work on ch. 4: do the easy parts, then reread once to flag problems and work spots4. Get on top of admin stuff (clear to-do list)

Humming421 Read 5x2 Write 5x3 submit book review4 follow up on conference-related things

JaneB (from week 11)1) 1 hour on Ferret
2) 1 hour on typing up notes from the workshop thing
3) drink more fluids and focus on eating fruit and vegetable rich meals (I've been away, it messes with diet, ALWAYS, and I do find it hard to reset...).

KJHaxton1. Just do the bloody marking already 2. Adminfrustration (last push to get it out the way)3. 2 x sessions working on some kind of research, preferably the nearly submittable paper but if I get distracted by data analysis I'm good with that.

Susan1. Spend Friday in office doing organizing, administrivia, and maybe even finally hang the pictures I haven't hung all year.2. Do something nice on Saturday3. Finish grading (ideally before Saturday?)4. Read for way outside5 . Get back to one of the three half finished novels on my nightstand.

Waffles1. Go to art museum free day2. See a movie in the theater3. K99 next iteration (we have something due for class every week, so…)4. Finish and submit aging paper (due friday)5. Do some analyses of qual data with dedoose (for conference call this week)6. clean the darned house!

24 comments:

  1. Past glory: In just 13 days, my colleagues and I pulled together a manuscript reporting on original research and submitted it on thursday. I was lead author on the paper. My mentor said that it was “beautiful to watch” it all happen and that I was "amazing.” I feel really good about that, but it was not easy at all. I wish my mentor would tell me what specifically I did well - because a large part of the time I felt completely incompetent. It would be nice to get some concrete feedback. I’ll see her this week, so may try to ask.

    One tricky thing about the paper is that one of the co-authors was a colleague's student. I'm not sure this student did much at all for the paper. I asked them to write the abstract - and literally every sentence was completely wrong (in an appalling way). This makes me uncomfortable - and will talk to my mentor about that this week.

    Last week
    1. Go to art museum free day - SORT OF DONE, WENT TO ONE EXHIBIT AND LEFT - TOO MUCH ANXIETY TO ENJOY IT
    2. See a movie in the theater - DID NOT DO, FINANCES ARE TIGHT
    3. K99 next iteration (we have something due for class every week, so…) - DONE
    4. Finish and submit aging paper (due friday) - DONE!!!
    5. Do some analyses of qual data with dedoose (for conference call this week) - DONE
    6. clean the darned house! - PARTIALLY DONE

    Last week was rough - I took the week off for spring break, but had too much work to do with too tight of deadlines (see past glory above!), so I worked every day, and it was emotionally draining. I took friday completely off, but that just wasn’t enough. Unfortunately, other colleagues and I are going to try to do a mixed method in a 2.5 week period (I’m again lead author) - and even though I really want to do it, I’m drained at the prospect — particularly because I’ve only ever done quant research. But I rallied today and am on board. I will be getting my score on the NIH resubmission this week, and I am so nervous about it. I may also hear on my NSF grant as, according to twitter, this time last year people heard whether they got it or not. So, big week.

    This week
    1. Work on mixed methods paper
    2. Possibly do suicide abstract if we decide to move forward with it
    3. Prepare presentation for next week’s conference
    4. K99 - revise mentor’s LOR

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations on putting together and submitting the paper! That *is* an achievement. I like the idea of asking your mentor exactly what, in her estimation, went especially well. I suspect it will become clearer to you, too, as you do this more often. Asking how to deal with a co-author who doesn't do things well also sounds like a good idea (I had my own non-academic group-authoring experience this week, which fortunately turned out well, but I'm not sure quite what I would have said/done if I'd been seriously unhappy with one of my co-writers' work).

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    2. Well done! And being so attuned to the process as well as the outcome suggests to me that you will be able to not just do this again, but do ti better.

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    3. It sounds like a productive week, but I'm sorry you didn't get the restorative time you needed. But I'm glad you'll be seeing your mentor next week! That is good news.

      And congrats on the manuscript!

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  2. Topic: Semesters definitely do have rhythms, and I'm increasingly feeling that the rhythms of mine have at least something to do with actual light (which probably means I need to do some supplementation between c. late October and March, or at least take more care to get outside for at least part of the day). I also really wish that, while our legislators are supposedly draining swamps and otherwise fiddling with lost-established patterns and customs, they'd consider simply getting rid of the biannual time changes, especially the spring one (I suppose that might make the fall once, but I'd much rather deal with a gradual progression in each direction than all this leaping around).

    I think I might actually be over the worst hump of the semester, or at least in a plateau in between peaks (the end is, indeed, hard). And while I can't report any single big achievement, I do seem to be staying on top of grading better than usual, and have made some (though only some) progress on things like moving and working in small non-teaching professional projects. It definitely helps to list them here, even if progress is much, much more incremental than I'd like.

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    1. So, goals from 2 weeks ago (written at the beginning of spring break):

      0. Rest and renewal; sleep.
      1. movement: try to work some in, despite weather
      2. cooking (clean out/reorganize fridge; make/freeze some oatmeal, soups, etc.)
      3. work on finances (esp. taxes)
      4. list prep/grading to-dos through end of semester
      5. do conference proposal and plan other grant-project work (which probably needs a new name, because it's not at all clear there will be any more money involved -- pedagogy project? curriculum project?)
      6. figure out what to do about pedagogy/curriculum project-related class

      Accomplished: actually, most of it, at least partially. I still need to work on taxes, which are becoming urgent, and finish listing to-dos for one more class, but otherwise there is progress on all fronts. Pedagogy project (which has a nice alliterative ring, so I think I'll keep that moniker) conference proposal is done, and I participated briefly but fruitfully in the associated class (by writing a blog post when I couldn't sleep one night -- but hey, what work, works).

      Goals for this week:
      --work on taxes (get as close to finished as possible, since the next few weeks will be busy)
      --finish listing to-dos for one section
      --move: walk, lift weights, and garden, at least 1x and preferably 2x each.
      --participate a bit more in pedagogy project related class (maybe just some blog comments)
      --write letter re: promotion to dept chair
      --make progress on annual report (which I think is due soon, though nobody has made an official announcement; until they do, I guess it counts as TLQ)

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    2. Well done on the incremental progress and accomplishments over the past week.

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  3. Grouped-backed success in tangible form - being able to stick with working on long-term projects that so easily get crowded out. I'm much further ahead on one of them that I could have been without the slow and steady plugging away at little things, and being able to report on that.
    Less concretely but more important: this group provides perspective and reminds me that even though our circumstances differ, we struggle with similar things. So knowing that I'm not defective, or doing everything wrong, or completely out to lunch helps enormously! For me a big one this ear was insight into post-tenure blahs and dealing with isolation, thanks for all that!

    I had a totally derailed week - three snow days!!! Happy spring my backside... Did more work than expected with kid at home, but it was still a wreck. Had to completely rewrite all planning for the rest of term to cope with losing a whole week of classes, yes, all my classes were on the snow days.

    1: Work on ONE paper each day, at least three for the week. YES! This worked very well, the work was tiny bits, but it still happened!
    2: Runs DONE, but only because I was snowed in!
    3: Contract report NOT EVEN CLOSE
    4: One figure for each paper NOTHING

    Time tracking is awesome, I cannot even believe how much I'm getting out of that! Should have done it this seriously years ago, it has really been a huge help to organize my day, to motivate me for slow periods, and to confirm that I'm not crazy and that some things really do take up that much time...

    This week's goals:
    1: Contract report, now a giant TRQ problem
    2: Read some key papers and plan for analytical time coming up
    3: Draft of results and discussion for one paper (related to contract, so can do this as a set)

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  4. Long time, no check-in. At this point, I think I can only describe the rhythm of this semester as brutal, and hence disappearing for most of this session. I can report some successes - 1/3 of the way through the second run of my large online unit with no major disasters (touch wood) and creative research output with significant logistical hurdles just packed up - with hopefully retrievable costs in sanity and sleep.

    So my goals for this week are firmly centred on re-centring and recovering:
    -reconnect with postgrad students
    -get ahead by one week on online unit during business hours not evenings. Use evenings for sleeping.
    -work through email consciously for designated periods each day and turn off outside those times.
    -get to yoga x 1
    -attend Friday writing group

    Onwards!

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  5. Past glories: Well, while I *might* have completed the PhD thesis without this group, but this group certainly helped me along the way as I worked on habits and dealt with various points of anxiety. I did my PhD in a very isolated way, so this group was important because of the sense of community it provides. I have learned a lot from all of you about the process of academic writing. I can also attribute to this group several conference papers, quality time with kids, and preventative medical care, along with a more balanced approach to life that contains way less guilt than it might otherwise. Now I look forward to publishing a couple of articles, and I feel better prepared b/c of this group. Oh, and Contingent Cassandra's note about to-do lists a couple of weeks has *really* helped my recent productivity. And I'm going to check out Daisy's time-tracking. I'm always getting great tips from this group.

    KJHaxton also asked about the final push. For the thesis, I just went all in. My PhD supervisor "warned" me that when trying to finish a thesis or a book, one has to devoted as much energy as possible to the project in the final six month. Those who don't (she said) don't finish. I think she was right about this (for me, anyway), and I was glad for the warning. But certainly one can't sustain that approach. Now I'm figuring out what that looks like on a smaller scale.

    This week is the week before spring break, and I can't remember the last time I was this eager for spring break. The difference, I think, is that I don't have to work on the thesis over break (for the first time in nine years). SO, I can't wait to actually relax a little bit. However, I also have some significant goals for grading, prepping, and finishing an article for submission. But I'm thinking I'm really going to have to make time to relax at least a little bit. I'm looking forward to making that to-do list!

    Last week's goals:
    1) exercise 3x--DONE. Not very strenuous, but I was moving. Walking. Yoga.
    2) do taxes--DONE
    3) get x-ray--DONE
    4) spend 2-3 hours editing article on Friday--NOT DONE
    5) read two things (one for research, one for new course development*)--NOT REALLY DONE. I just read part of a preface.
    6) stay on top of grading so that it doesn't become TRQ. --DONE
    7) take daughter and her friend on their much anticipated outing--DONE

    I didn't do very well on the research/writing side, but otherwise, it was a good week.

    This week's goals:
    1) Exercise 3x.
    2) Get a head start on spring break grading (maybe grade half a stack, or even a whole stack??)
    3) Spend 3 hours on article on Friday.
    4) Read one thing.
    5) Arrange to pick up lab results (and pick them up).
    6) Brainstorm some things to do with kids for my upcoming spring break, during which hubby will be out of town. Kids will be in school, but I want to plan a couple of fun outings.

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    Replies
    1. I think this spring break is also later than usual -- the last week before break everyone was exhausted.

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  6. How I did:
    1. House: gather tax documents and sort/file/toss/shred/pack (as appropriate) papers in the guest room. IN PROGRESS. Appointment with the accountant is tomorrow, so the tax stuff will be done by then. I packed some more boxes of stuff in the guest room, instead of dealing with papers.
    2. Research: 4 x 2 hours on the MMP R&R. 3 hours.
    3. Teaching: stay caught up. SO BEHIND.
    4. Health: continue regular gym workouts 3x/week, stretch every day, eat safely, go to bed early. YES.
    5. Fun/social: active restoration daily. ?? I just do not know. We did go to a concert in a museum this weekend, so there was some art and some music.

    What the heck am I doing with my time?
    I think the "work at work/pack at home" plan didn't work out very well. I'm too tired by late afternoon to apply myself well at work, plus there were things I either forgot to plan for (dissertation defense) or that just came up (students in office hours) that meant I couldn't use that time for work. So now I'm behind with grading as well as not having got that much done at home. Well, I did get some stuff done, just not the things I listed.

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  7. New goals:
    The new approach will be at least 15 minutes a day, five days a week, on each of House, Research, and Grading.

    1. House: get all tax stuff to accountant, and make one room presentable.
    2. Research: 5 x 15 minutes on the MMP R&R, and at least one session of two hours on it.
    3. Teaching: 5 x 15 minutes grading, and hope that I'll at least not get more behind than I am now. Talk to colleague about student H.
    4. Health: continue regular gym workouts 3x/week, stretch every day, eat safely, go to bed early.
    5. Fun/social: track restorative activities to find out if I do them regularly.

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  8. Past glory is also past failure...a favorite thing about this group is my discovery that if I don’t meet my goals, the world doesn’t end. I can pick myself up and set new goals, without too much beating myself up. Being in this space also helps me with this Big Project of calling myself a writer.

    Last week
    1 Read 5x: yes
    2 Write 5x: yes, but not big writing
    3 submit book review: yes, in a sweet TLQ manner
    4 follow up on conference related things: mostly

    This week
    1 Read 5x
    2 Write 5x
    3 make notes while reading
    4 use morning writing to brainstorm projects

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  9. Past glories: Last summer I finished revising the MMP-1 for its third submission, which resulted in its acceptance in December, and during the fall I got an R&R completed and submitted. I'm mainly aware of what I don't get done, but we did get a few house repairs done last fall, and I have recently finished getting all the moldy junk out of the basement. And I've moved all my library books to my campus office, and returned some of them. Less tangibly, I think I'm a lot more committed to the idea of moving than I was a year ago, when I dreaded the upheaval at least as much as I looked forward to an easier living space; the balance has now shifted, which helps.

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  10. Past glories: well, obviously, finishing my book is the biggie. And yes, I would have done it, but this group kept me focused, and made me articulate near term goals. It also made me think about how the various pieces o fmy life fit together. And while I don't do a great job on the balance front, I'm a bit better. I just need to say no more often, but I deal with frustration at work by saying yes to conferences and other things which provide warm fuzzies.

    Anyway, last week's goals:
    1. Spend Friday in office doing organizing, administrivia, and maybe even finally hang the pictures I haven't hung all year. YES, but the pictures didn't get hung, and I didn't finish administrivia, because I got hooked on twitter.
    2. Do something nice on Saturday: not really, but I went to a nice dinner.
    3. Finish grading (ideally before Saturday?) Done on Saturday
    4. Read for way outside: Some
    5 . Get back to one of the three half finished novels on my
    bedside table: NO

    Analysis: I said last week I was bone tired, and like GEW, I was SOOOO ready for spring break. And it's only one week. Sigh. It was good enough, but I also had a friend/colleague coming to campus on Thursday, and a meeting in another city on Wednesday. I didn't make myself read papers on the train which I count as good.

    This week:
    1. Hammer out first draft of Way Outside.
    2. Walk three times
    3. Take one day completely off -- maybe go up to the mountains and hike for a day, or go to the beach and walk.
    4. Don't get too far behind on work.
    5. Finish at least one book.

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  11. Last week:

    1. Just do the bloody marking already. [Some progress made but still seems never ending]

    2. Adminfrustration (last push to get it out the way) [nearly done]

    3. 2 x sessions working on some kind of research, preferably the nearly submittable paper but if I get distracted by data analysis I'm good with that. [yes, did this and enjoyed it]

    This week:

    1. collaborative paper - make edits and send to coauthors
    2. poster for conference - plan and work out data
    3. marking marking marking
    4. adminfrustrashing - finish off the last bits

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  12. Past glories-----I'm not sure that I can point to one thing, especially as my involvement with TLQ has been irregular (I took a break from all accountability groups last semester). But it definitely helps me to stay focused through the semester. Just having my weekly to-dos is so helpful for reorienting when I'm not sure what to work on--especially this semester, I think, when I have so many conference papers and such looming and I have to stay on top of them all.

    Last week:

    1. Integrate affect stuff into intro DONE
    2. Read Berks abstract and make a to-do list/bibliography/outline? DONE, in a very hasty way
    3. Work on ch. 4: do the easy parts, then reread once to flag problems and work spots DONE
    4. Get on top of admin stuff (clear to-do list) ALMOST DONE

    This week:

    1. Finish scanning and uploading things to Moodle for the rest of the semester
    2. Reread Sanok sections
    3. Create a developed outline/preliminary draft of Berks paper
    4. Update Kzoo in response to ch. 4
    5. Go to intro-level classes to tout upper-level offerings

    This is rather ambitious, especially as it's already Tuesday, but here we go!

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  13. Topic: Successes due, in part, to this group
    First and foremost is staying sane (or my closest approximation) through six weeks of having one’s dominant hand velcroed to one’s body. As others have mentioned, knowing that I am not alone in the pursuit of words, time, or happiness, is also very helpful. I have followed book and article recommendations, tried out time and tracking applications and just generally thought more deeply about my research process than I would have if left inside my own head. And even though we often grouse about the downsides of academia, hanging out with this group reminds me of what I love about academia, and why I have stayed in academia.

    If I look at tangible projects, this group has helped me through my tenure process, DH’s tenure process, several articles, and the tail end of a book that predates my acquaintance with the group. I have dipped my toe back into NaNo, and am on the verge of doing CPR on my moribund blog.

    Last week's goals:
    Deal with electrician. Done. It was the wire of the emergency shutoff to the old oil furnace which shorted and burned itself out. Luckily, it did not catch anything else on fire, and did not damage the new furnace. Expensive, but worth the heat and peace of mind!

    Meeting with boss--survival is key. Done. She insisted on plumbing the depths of my disappointment about not getting the interview, but I refused to expose my neck. Luckily, I did not know who had gotten the interviews at the time, so I could be remote and mysterious.

    PT and home exercises. Done. Range of motion is much improved, although still very painful. The physical therapist swears that is the luck of shoulder breaks, so I will grit through the last week of PT.

    Continue to preserve time for transcription and scholarly thought. Not entirely successful. I got some days of preserved time, but I am deeply involved in the four on-campus interviews, and had to finish the four staff evaluations.

    Incorporate research notes from last year’s trip. Nope. Moving to next week’s goals.

    Plan next steps for top three to four projects to determine viability. Done.

    Spend one hour per day unfruitful time clearing email or filing paper files.3 out of 5 days.

    Next (this?) week’s goals:
    Survive the four days of interviews.
    Incorporate research notes from last year’s trip.
    Reserve time for transcription and scholarly thought.
    Doctor’s appointment Wednesday.
    Pack for the weekend in New York City.

    Move like water! The tortoise is no longer at rearguard, but paddling harder to keep up.

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    Replies
    1. Good luck with the interviews. I've been in a similar position (not short-listed for the Dean job) and it's hard, especially when you see the people they bring in! (At least in my case they didn't interview any internal candidates.)

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    2. Thanks, Susan. I'm finding it very difficult to be objective, and not to sit there and compare constantly.

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    3. Unfortunately, unless you really respect the person they hire, it's harder when they arrive. I'm constantly watching my dean and thinking, I would do better at that.

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  14. I'm in conference go-mode, leaving for Odd Coastal Town tomorrow morning. I have a lot of free time and no hotel mate, so I am planning a bit of reading & writing retreat time. Will check in when I get back.

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  15. Great article! I completely agree with your points about the importance of trauma counselling in today's. Your insights on how counselling have really helped me understand the benefits of incorporating trauma counselling into my own counselling . Thank you for sharing your expertise and knowledge, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future

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